Thursday, June 4, 2009

Proud To Be Me!

Today I find I have a new outlook on life. I was out for my walk, taking the route I had taken many times before. It's familiar, I know the distance (2 miles) and about how long it will take, since I need to get back to work. Today as I was walking, I stopped thinking about all the things I had to do, problems that may be going on, how far I still had to go, and what people I may see were thinking of me. I suddenly realized how much I was smiling, how warm the sun felt, the sounds of the neighborhood, and how good I felt. Even stranger was that as I approached my house, I felt an urge to put in another couple miles! Now, I didn't do it because I had to get back to work & had to check on my dogs since no one else was home at the time. Just having that thought made me realize how different things are this time around. Before I would have been eager to get home 10 minutes before I got there. It was a very exciting revalation. 

Now it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, when I realized I wasn't worried about what people thought of me out there, I was reminded of an incident that happened not too long ago. I was taking a nice long walk with my husband, son and our dogs. About 2 miles in, a man driving towards us stuck his head out the window and said "Walking ain't going to do you any good fattie!" and drove off. I was so wonded by that comment it was all I could do not to break into tears right there. 

This time, I felt differently about it. I realized that regardless of what this ignorant jerk thought, I was out there changing my life and trying to get healthy. I shouldn't have let him get me off course. Now I truely believe that anything negative anyone has to say about me or my journey I can shake off and not let it get to me. I know who I am, I know where I am going, and I know I will get there. It all came down to a bright reminder how important it is to make a lifestyle change not only in your eating and exercise habbits, but a mental change too. I haven't felt this happy for this long in a long time. Even looking in a mirror doesn't up set me anymore. I may still have a ways to go, but seeing the small changes and knowing I'm on my way, I no longer see what's wrong with my body, I see the potential and what it's been able to do so far. 

Today's Random Act of Kindness: Today I started my participation in the American Cancer Society Notes to Neighbors program, helping to gather donations for the ACS. 

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