Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Fork In The Road

There comes a time in every journey, when you come to a fork in the road. In the middle of the fork is a big sign that says "Both paths will lead you to your destination". One path has a gentle downward slope, smooth soft ground, and looks very relaxing and easy. The second path has an upward slope, and a rocky path, it looks like a lot of hard work. My first inclination would be to take the easy road, after all, it's about working smarter not harder, right? But here's what you can't see from that spot in the road. The easy path gently curves off to the side, and continues in a long subtle curve, until eventually you find yourself right back on the same path, but set back quite a way. It fools you into a false sense of accomplishment, thinking you are getting somewhere. On the other hand, that other path is a lot of hard work and determination, but after getting through all those obstacles, you reach your goal. 

I had one of those forks last night. I didn't even realize the significance until after I had decided on my path. For the last couple weeks I have been craving a Whatchamacalit, my FAVORITE candy bar. They are very hard to find here. I was getting gas, and went inside the little shop. Something drew me to the candy aisle. There sitting on the bottom rack off to the side, was a box of Whatchamacalits. I grabbed one so fast it would have made a magician look twice. I stood for a moment staring at that candy bar. The crispy insides, the gooey caramel, the chocolate coating, that sweet deliciousness. I could taste it already. Suddenly, something in my mind whispered to me "Are you sure you want that? Or do you need that?" Where'd that voice come from? I don't remember that one. That was my healthy voice. The one I've ignored for so long, I didn't recognize her when she spoke to me. I waited a moment, hoping she'd speak to me again, help me to make the right decision. "Is the candy craving controlling you, or are you making a conscious decision to enjoy a treat?" Oh, that's what she meant. I wasn't grabbing a snack that I knew I had counteracted with exercise and healthy foods. I was feeding a craving that was winning over all the hard work I was doing. I was headed down that easy path. So, what was it going to be? For about 30 seconds (which felt like hours) I held that bar in my hand, and looked at it. Then I took a step that is one of those pivotal moments in a journey like this, and one that I think I'll be remembering for a long time. I set that candy bar back on the shelf! I got my gas, and drove home. 

Now, all this happened without me realizing that it was as significant of a moment as it was. It wasn't until I was driving home that the full weight of my decision hit me. I just did something I've never done before. I turned down a Whatchamacalit. Today as I write this, the craving has dissapated, and I'm overjoyed with my decision to stay on that rocky uphill path. I feel very good about myself and my journey. It's the little steps in the right direction that will eventually get us where we are going. 

Healthy and Happy Living


Autumnforest said...

I'm so proud of you! I have to admit, I had a turning point one day just like that. I was reflexively grabbing for a cookie like I did every day. Then, I don't know what happened, but suddenly I was thinking about my mom. I didn't have a warm and fuzzy mom. She was awkward, not affectionate, loving, and never once asked me how I was doing or if I needed help or anything. She put food on the table and then stepped back into the shadows. I do remember as a kid only hearing from her when I did something wrong. She loved to pick at little things. My outfit. My hair. My choice of major in college. My job. My husband... on and on and on. I never seemed to please her. When I held the cookie in my hand, I imagined my mother saying "I knew it. You can't even control what you put in your mouth. I just knew you'd eat another cookie." Somehow, something inside me tightened and I realized, "I don't want to make her happy by screwing up." However you do it. Keep that voice alive. Give it a name. Give it a personality. But, remember you live through cravings and they do go away. You just have to pass that moment when you almost blindly reach for something. Shake yourself awake. I get the feeling you've got a lot of great decisions like that ahead of you. Yahoo!

Shannon Fab Fattie said...

Good for you! I know the signifigance of that moment for you!
Keep on moving ahead and you will have many more moments like that I am sure!

Michelle said...

Good job. I have done a pretty good job during my pregnancy. but not always andd not this week.

thanks for visiting me on my SITS day.

Sarafree said...

Happy Sharefest Saturday!

Way to go! I can totally relate to this challenge. I've educated myself to know what will be better for my body, and yet I struggle daily with my choices. Keep up the great work!!!


Holly said...

Happy SITS Sharefest. Great job turning down that candybar...I struggle with those deicisons all the time. We are all trying to be healthier and more conscious of what we eat at our house too! It is hard but it will be worth it.
Good luck!
Holly @ 504 Main